THE MATT KURZ ONE
IMPENDING DOOM IS NO EXCUSE!

The Matt Kurz One stands alone amongst a sea of "one-man bands" in the 21st century. First of all, The Matt Kurz One does not wear spandex or other funny costumes. He doesn't use smoke machines or lasers. He isn't "wacky" or "goofy."

Second of all, The Matt Kurz One cannot run all over the stage, flashing his genitals and being "controversial." This is because The Matt Kurz One is not some guy singing on top of an iPod. In fact, he is an actual one man band. Playing a kick-and-snare drum set with one foot, a bass guitar with the other, an electric guitar, hi-hats and keyboards with his hand and singing or playing the harmonica with his mouth, dude is tied down when he is on stage. You will be hard-pressed to find a more coordinated motherfucker.

Finally and most importantly: THIS IS NOT A GIMMICK. The one-man band aspect is not a marketing ploy or an avenue for dick jokes. Rather, The Matt Kurz One was driven into creation by an insatiable lust for songwriting and isolation from friendships, both personal and musical.

The latter is touched upon in sprawling detail on The Matt Kurz One's sophomore release, Impending Doom is No Excuse! Recorded live (yep, five instruments at once) by Joel Hatstat (Bomb the Music Industry!, We Versus the Shark, Cinemechanica) the record documents what it's like for a young adult trying to live comfortably in a society where a good job is hard to find, good people are even harder and doing anything outside of watching television is vehemently discouraged. From it's explosive rock-and-roll opening to its spiraling Abbey Road-style close, The Matt Kurz One draws inspiration from the best punk, indie rock, blues and pop bands of the last century; and with these twelve songs Matt is starting to insure that he will be one of the best and most unique artists of the next. Or at least an open call for one-man bands to step it up.

click here for the whole album!

Download specific tracks:
1. I'm Alive!
2. Everything is Boring Now
3. Ham and Eggs Man
4. Now We're Really on Our Own
5. Clean Living
6. CPR
7. Plague of the Week
8. Chains
9. Great Caeser's Ghost!
10. Mow You Down Then Put You On a Pedastal
11. Save Yourself
12. Life; Abridged

Matt Kurz wrote the words and music.Then Joel Hatstat recorded him playing the bass guitar with his left foot, the snare and bass drum with his right foot, the guitar, and an open high hat and keyboards with the headstock of his guitar all at the same time, using a patented new recording technique called Lumicolor. Then Joel recorded Matt singing and they added another track of guitar to make it more fun. Then Joel Hatstat mixed and mastered it to make it even more fun! Afterwards, Matt couldn't help but acknowlege that he couldn't have done it without Jeff Rosenstock, Joel Hatstat, and Sarah Weir.

LYRICS!

I'm Alive!

Its been awhile since I had the day off
and it's like 80 degrees
look out the window and bask in the sunlight
and watch the bird in the trees
i close the blinds and turn on the tv
get high awhile, watch a dvd
I should exercise and work on my health
instead i get a 40 and get drunk by myself
look in the mirror and i'm lazy and fat
i just keep on forgetting that
I'm Alive
I keep forgetting that I'm alive
It's been awhile since i've had some real goals
i say i'm chasing my dream
i fooled myself to think i've won some prize that
I can never redeem
got an I.Q. of 148
making 6 bucks an hour washing people's plates
i got a shit job just so I can play
but I can't find the time because I'm here everyday
I saw the sunset on my ciggerette break
i sware i felt a part of my soul awake
I'm alive
I keep forgetting but I''m alive
I felt the light shine down on me
I'll break out this cage, declare I'm free to be human again

Everything is Boring Now

I think my liver has had enough
i go from sober to way to drunk
and when i smoke i don't get high enough
and i'm not moving on to the harder stuff
Oh No, what do I do at night
Oh no, what I do with my life
Now i read books to pass the day
but no one's got nothing new to say
i better figure this thing out
cause everything is boring now
sometimes i wanna do hallucinagens
bout once a year i get a hold of them
and when i finnaly start trippin
i just sit around wait for them to end
oh no, what do I do with my life
oh no, what do i do at night
Now i read books to pass the day
but no one's got nothing new to say
i better figure this thing out
cause everything is boring now

Ham and Eggs Man

If I could live with myself running down and dirty shops
exploiting small children, then putting Elmo on the box
then I could be a ham and eggs man
if i could live with myself controlling the lights
kill the juice for profit during fires and mudslides
then I could be a ham and eggs man.

Now We're Really on Our Own

When we got on the off ramp we first saw the glow of the row of the national chainstores
each one repeating, over and over, like the background of some old cartoon as they run down a hallway
Well we moved in with monsters an quarantined ourselves for the length of one year and a day
pulled down the blinds and bolted the doors to wallow in the mess that we'd made
now we ride with inlaws of enemies taking in statues of monsterous men
awkwardly discussing the health risks of whipped topping in a mini van
and they say that we should invest in a house, renting's throwing your money away
but we'd rather mortgage an acre of hell then own one square inch of this place
and now we're really on our own
getting degraded by 18 year old children with advice about ironing shirts
get called a yankee then walk home 3 miles, treat myself to bowls filled with dirt
and now the future seems so cold
and now i've never felt so old
and they say that we should invest in a house renting's throwing your money away
but we'd rather mortgage an acre of hell then own one square inch of this place
and now we're really on our own

Clean Living

Now I'm into clean living
quit smoking ciggarettes and drinking way less
oh man, who am I kidding?
Now I've been saving money
save for a future that may never come
I think it's more sad then funny
depraved, depraved my whole life
enslaved to my weakness
saved, can i be saved in this life
or should i obey my weakness?
Now I'm into clean living
I been sober for an hour and change!
Oh man, what was i thinking?
Now I've been save money
I keep it in in your register
I think it's more sad than funny
depraved, depraved my whole life
enslaved to my weakness
saved can i be saved in this life
or should i obey my weakness?
obey my weakness!

CPR

9 am on a saturday
there's loud banging on my door
I heard my neighbor scream," He's dead,he's dead"
I got out of bed to see what the commotion's for
He used my phone to call an ambulance
then ran back in his place
I followed him in he was dead on the bed
no expression on his face
Then his roommate started freaking out
he said,"you gotta give him mouth to mouth"
I looked at the body and i shrugged my shoulders
kissing an old, fat, dead, man
I got on my knees his lips had turned blue
cold saliva on his face
I thought to myself,"you gotta do what you gotta do"
then I went in for the kill
so I started giving mouth to mouth
then his roomate started freaking out
he put his hands in his mouth and pulled out nasty dentures
kissing an old, fat, dead man
they took his body out the room
there's no toe tag, just an I.V.
the cops and paramedics came out the house
and came walking towards me
they said you're a hero boy
you've got something to write home about
but do heros think about what they did and vomit in their mouth?
Kissing an old, fat, dead man

Plague of the Week

Sars
Ebola Virus
Avion Bird Flu
West Nile
Super-AIDS
Me: film at 11!
You: find out what we're getting!

Chains

Shop at the Walmart though it costs me my job
Wolf down Mcdonalds but dont call me a slob
dont think about it boy, just follow the mob
think about it twice and they will call you a snob
Sell yourself into slavery as the downpayment on your chains
I saw some brand new shiny shit in that ad
whip out that credit card don't miss on the fad
sell yourself into slavery as the down payment on your chains
read all about it in the news yesterday
the house and senate approved MCA
now you'd better watch what you do and say
call you the enemy and take you away
what are we gonna do to make it us vs. them instead of me vs. you?
up in your harddrive and they all in that phone
don't be lonely now, you never alone!
what are we gonna do? Cause it's us vs them vs me vs you
but you aint never gonna change yo mind!

Great Caeser's Ghost!

I'm thru bitchin about Richmond and powers that have wronged me in some way
cause if there's no tommorow I'm Dying today
great Caeser's ghost, I think I've got it now!
I see there's nothing to see, now I see everything!!

Mow You Down Then Put You On a Pedastal

if you're honestly trying to make the world a better place
they''ll shoot you in the face
if you go around helping people break free form their chains
then they'll kick out your brains
then say that you were so damn great
first they mow you down then the put you on a pedastal
if you discover some miraculous cure for some bad disease
they'll bring you to your knees
if you ever stop and ask yourself why things are run this way
they'll put you in your grave
then put your name on a national holiday
first they mow you down then they put you on a pedestal

Save Yourself

seems like eveyone's looking for a personal Jesus
some Phil Mcgraw to ease their pain
every preacher on the corner try and tell you what God gave you
but no one ever seems to tell you that the greatest gift He ever gave you was your brain
In a world where the people who won't take a log out their own eye
are the very same people always looking for a cause
in a world where everybody goes and fucks up they own life
who needs a hero to fuck up yours?
save yourself
you dont need to be rescued you can do it on your own
save yourself
when you got yourself to lean on then your never all alone
seems like everyone's looking for a way out
some safety net to catch their fall
everyone's looking for the simple fix or the easy solution
and if it's not easier then suicide then they're not gonna try at all
In a world where the people who won't take a log out their own eye
are the very same people always looking for a cause
in a world where everybody goes and fucks up they own life
who needs a hero to fuck up yours?
save yourself
you dont need to be rescued you can do it on your own
save yourself
when you got yourself to lean on then your never all alone
you can do it on your own

Life; Abridged

live for death
draw another breath
the sun goes up and down
eat and shit
drink and piss
the sun goes up and down
waiting for something to happen to you
sitting, standing, walking, and lying down
play and work
love and hurt
the sun goes up and down