On a his radio show, Ben Weasel (The Riverdales) recently referred to The Max Levine Ensemble as the worst band ever. Instead of whining on the internet like a bunch of crybabies (and what most would probably do), The Max pulled an anachronistic, 1990's hip-hop move and recorded this dis/response EP. Originally released on seven-inch this is now out-of-print and unavailable anywhere else BUT HERE! Complete with bits of the original radio slam from Mr. Weasel himself, this is simultaneously some dark serious shit and some really hilarious shit - one of the most unique and fulfilling seven-inchers I've ever owned. Well played, Max Levine.

Click here to download the split, comic and liner notes!
Click here to listen to Ben Weasel's original radio broadcast!

1. Ben Weasel Thinks We Suck
2. It's Make Out Time
3. How About a Screeching Pole Cat?
4. You're Art Monk, and I'm Telling Everyone
5. If That Band Were a Horse, I'd Shoot It
6. You Are a Rude Thoughtless Little Pig
7. God Gave Rock and Roll to You Part III

in july 2008, ben weasel (formerly of pop punk legends, screeching weasel) broadcasted his opinion on his radio show that the max levine ensemble sucks and u2 rulez!  while we were flattered to receive the 10 minutes of public attention from a punk rock celled, we thought we'd rustle up a little more attention and release this record as a way of saying "hey, fuck you too!" and while yes, that's a specific fuck you, we don't want anyone to feel excluded.  the songs on this record could as easily be about you, your crew, or whatever assholes you're tired of taking shit from…

plagiaristic flattery and respect is due to KISS, argent, no empathy, the hickey/ voodoo glow skulls split, and jawbreaker.  all other plagiarism was meant in disrespect.

the max levine ensemble is: spoonboy, bepstein, and nick popovici

this record was recorded and embellished by bryan lyin in the woods.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

please note "THE MAX" in the subject or body of your donation.


ben weasel thinks we suck

i hope you fall on some bad luck,
if the path you take leads up and up,
yet you take such pride in mediocrity.
the nail that sticks up gets hammered down,
take the squeaky wheel and throw it out.
you've got a square peg and a round hole?
take that square peg and shave that sucker down!
and from your armchair, you discover
what it's like to lord over each other,
to strip this life from all meaning:
just a series of images repeat...
a thousand eyes glued to a tv.
one thousand pundits know more about me than me.
hey! i concede...  you got it.

i'd put up a fight, but i'm tuckered out.
i've played the squeaky wheel for a while now.
through all of this struggle, i said i'd stand behind it.
but these days i'm feeling too tired to give a shit.
so to fall back - is this freedom?
i always thought i'd go kicking and screaming...
but now the time's come - maybe i should!
i'm getting out while the getting is still good.
to all my friends: please don't forget me,
though i know i never made it on tv...
we gave it a shot, but now we're FREE!

i always thought my calling was crunching numbers.
- you work for a sports team...
- i'll start a radio show!
we'll show this world how far we can go.
because everybody knows there's nothing more to life
than shit jobs and rock and roll... wait!
did i forget sports?
there's also... sports.

it's make out time...

i wanna wanna wanna wanna
wanna wanna wanna make out with you.
baby, don't you know it's true?
i wanna make out with you.  out with you.
i wanna make out with you.

i wanna wanna make out with you,
cuz i'm stuck to you like cra-a-azy glue.
i wanna make out with you.  out with you.
i wanna make out with you.

i wanna wanna make out with you,
cuz everything you say and do
makes me wanna make out with you.  out with you.
i wanna make ouuuuuut with you.
i wanna make out with you cuz you're so cool.

how about a shrieking polecat?

me and suzie at the punk show.
she's eating mashed potatos.
something changed inside my brain.

hanging out with veronica,
sniffin' glue in suburbia.
i knew i'd never be the same!

these were the anthems of our lives
from then until the end of time.

since then we've held on to those days
of teenage pranks and panty raids,
so we'll play the same trick,
until we're geriatric.


these were the anthems of our lives,
from then until the end of time.
these are the anthems of our lives,
from now until the end of time.

you're art monk and i'm telling everyone!

i wanna direct this complaint to those dedicated to the dogmatization of...
oh whatever!  does this sound familiar?
"paternalistic asshole pisses on creativity"
hey, it's all part of the game right?

this ain't no party, ain't no celebration.
required conduct from the proper delegation.
play the pattern. ain't no deviation.
mind the hand book. it reads something like this joke i heard:

in a petri dish under a microscope, one microbe says to the other:
"listen to me, for i'm graced with the knowledge of the gods."
an exercize in self importance, puts the microcosmic shithole of your life,
up in neon flashing lights to a sold out crowd of brown nosed clones.

ain't no party. ain't no celebration.
required conduct from the proper delegation.
play the pattern ad nauseum on rotation.
until you're falling on your ass
and looking something like this joke i heard.

if that band was a horse i'd shoot it

- hey listeners, this is me, ben weasel. i've got your back buddy.  we have so much ground to cover and so little time. 
- we're gonna play you the max levine ensemble…
- the worst band in the world!
- yes! 
- i've heard the max levine ensemble...
- and if you walk away from the songs we play for you thinking "it's not good rock and roll, it's great rock and roll," then i think you should have your head checked frankly. 
- i think you should have your ears checked. 
- your ears should be ripped off and a screwdriver poked through to see if there's brain matter in there, because quite frankly, i have this round face, with a potato nose, and i'm 41 years old now, can't grow a mustache.
- you're in a lot better shape than boggsy.
- i know you think that. you're wrong and i'm sorry for you.  you can do anything, cuz you're really good looking, ok.
- you and i like a lot of great young bands, the leftovers, the guts.  i've never heard anything by the max levine ensemble that i thought was worth listening to again.
- you had been listening to the greatest hits of u2.  explain yourself and we can go from there.
- well i didn't shower today, so i smell.

you are a rude thoughtless little pig.

- so people who don't like u2, here is what they like, ok.  i'm ok with this so far.
- i love the guitar sound, i have to say…
- this sounds fine so far, i could like this. so far so good.  i'm ok still… I KNOW YOU'RE BITTER… how does a band stand in a room with someone singing like that and think "yeah"
- but wait turn it up.  it's not only absurdly out of key, but they're also out of time.  they're off rhythm with each other and the music.  it's sort of like jerry lewis in his delicate delinquent days fronting a punk rock band.  LADIIIEEESSS!! my worst nightmare is to find somebody who likes that band and also likes my stuff, because then immediately, IMMEDIATELY, i'm going to start questioning myself and ask myself "what am i doing wrong??"
- now what if one of them was to offer you sex. 
- um, they're all fellows, so no. but actually even if they were ladies, no.  i mean when you get to our age, the idea of having sex with somebody…
- you think it's badass, but it's not badass!! you crack me up.
- i don't have roller-skates that light up at night.
- come on.  you sir, are the old man.

god gave rock and roll to you part III

 - the bottom line is the max levine ensemble suck on their own merits.
- yes!
- whether you're comparing them to u2, or… here's the test for me.  if you put the max levine ensemble up against pretty much anybody that's doing a band now, the other band is going to walk away looking better.  that's how bad the max levine ensemble are.  they are a terrible unlistenable band. and frankly, i question anybody who likes them.
- yes! right!
- i gotta say, wait a second, if you like them either you're troubled in the head or…

original lyrics by KISS