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Twinkle
While you were asleep
Pulled my hood to block the light from the TV
Turned the volume up to distract me from constant noises
Leaking under the apartment door
It doesn't help
I get up and I crawl out and don't hear more
Make a barricade of full trash bags and empty boxes
Perched behind them, closely watching
While you were asleep
On the couch, watching a movie, smoking weed
Rummaging through the utensils in the kitchen counter,
In the drainer, which one's sharper.
When the light creeps in
loosen my grip and crawl back into my bed.
Your alarm is set to go off in a half an hour.
Eyes closed. Fake snore. None the wiser.
Victoria made me happy
Now I can only be scared
And people tell me that time can fix the wound.
But that's crap.
'Cause she's not coming back
And life's unfair.
I'm always anxious and worried.
I'm always freaked out and scared.
And people tell me that time can fix the wound.
But that's crap.
Vicki's not coming back.
And I scream, "Why did I get left behind?"
I know it's an exaggeration
to say I would rather die than
share this place with people capable
of inspiring such fear and hopelessness
that I'm frozen in my bed...
but that sums it up.
Teenage halloween
Hot safety pins in nozzles of shaving cream
Spend the evening spraying cars, toilet papering houses
What's the harm in smashing pumpkins?
Decades on, with kids
And I don't let them go out past dark.
I sit on the front porch with a shotgun
While they're upstairs sleeping.
Total darkness.
Love. Protection.
Dishes (Pulp Cover)
wrong lyrics by jeff rosenstock
I am not Jesus though I have the same initials -
I am the man who stays home and does the dishes.
& how was your day?
Is that woman still trying to do your head in?
A man told me to beware of 33.
He said, "It was not an easy time for me" but I'll get through even though
I've got no miracles to show you.
I'd like to make this water wine
but it's impossible.
I've got to get these dishes dry.
I'll read a story if it helps you sleep at night.
I've got some matches if you ever need a light.
Oh I am just a man
but I am doing what I can to help you.
And I'm not worried that I will never touch the stars
'cause stars belong up in heaven
And the earth is where we are.
Oh yeah.
And I feel happy just to be alive.
And that seems possible.
You've got no Cross to bear tonight. Ah
No not tonight, Ah.
No not tonight, Ah.
I am not Jesus though I have the same initials.
The Trash The Trash The Trash
Worried about the rodents and maggots in the trash
So I won't empty the trash.
So I won't empty the trash.
Worried about the moldy dishes
And spiders in the drain
So I won't do no dishes today
And I won't eat no dinner today
And I won't write no letters today.
Freaked out by the roaches
And I don't like to spray them
'Cause I don't like to spray them
I just stay out of the kitchen.
It's not bad.
It's not like somebody died.
In five years, it'll be out of your mind
But I can't seem to feel alive today.
You're standing on the side of the road.
I'm circlin' the block.
Killin' time.
I feel like I'm lost and alone.
Circlin' the block kills time.
I won't empty the trash, the trash, the trash.
It's not bad.
It's not like somebody died.
We're all sad but we're probably fine
Even if we just don't feel alright today.
You're standing on the side of the road.
I'm circlin' the block.
Killin' time.
You're waiting and I turned off my phone.
Circlin' the block kills time.
I won't empty the trash, the trash, the trash.
Snow Charges
There's a patch shimmering under the sky
On the south corner of Bushwick, on the residential side
And I'm afraid I'll slip.
Most days when it's cloudy and all nights I stay inside
But it's 2:30 on New Years' Day and outside it's looking bright
And I could use some chips and a bottle of soda
For my quest to rescue Zelda.
Trying to be brave, I touched the puddle to my tongue
And within a millisecond the bottom of my face went numb
And no one on the street knew anything was wrong.
So I tried to wave my arms to find that they were frozen too
And I tried to run away, my legs felt like they were stuck in clue
And I started to hear a storm.
Through my ears poured freezing rain
And it froze my freezing brain.
A handful of neighbors gathered underneath the awning
of the laundromat 200 feet from the front door of my building
And it smacked my like a pinball
And it crushed me like a wrecking ball
I was swallowed by a cold duvet
And the kids are gonna have a snow day.
I couldn't bear to find out how the story was gonna end
So I closed my eyes and went to sleep and no one found me dead
'Cause everybody stayed inside 'til March.
And a patch of flowers grew out of the concrete where I lied
Some boy picked a dandelion to give to a girl he liked
And she gave him a kiss that warmed his lonely heart.
Now they hold each other tight
And stay in on winter nights.
80's Through the 50's
Miles away and I can't seem to shake the smell of your car in 2003: beach air, bad tunes, stale smoke and junk food.
Tell her to stay and you'll scare her away. Staying the same just makes everything change.
I'm plowing right through friends I don't talk to. Seasons seem to see me sliding out of view. 80's through the 50's. Breezes make me think of you and I'll count down the days just like I count down before I go away. I'm owning up to not being there for you.
Seasons seem to see me sliding out of view. 80's through the 50's. Breezes make me think of you when you see me sliding out of view. It got chilly this Saturday and with my hands in my pockets I walked around in circles like "Oh no, I'm totally fucked." It's one thing to grow old but I'm collecting dust.
'Cause nobody needs me.
Nobody needs me.
Nobody needs me the way that I need you.
Little Blue Pills
Little blue pills
Bottles of codeine lying
On the shelf at dawn.
Sleeping soundly
With traffic gently humming
Down the boulevard.
I hate the morning light
Because with every night
A little earlier
It seems to get too bright
It squeezes through the blinds
Dissolves into my eyes
And I hate the sunny side.
Calling good friends
And calling total strangers
Meet me at the bar.
Throw the card down
And leave the fucker open
Like I turned twenty-one.
And when it's dark inside
I'll take a taxi ride
Down to the eastern side
Before it gets too bright
I pull the curtains down
I let my head spin round
And my ears ring over the sound.
My ears ring over the sound.
I upped the dosage and cleared my bank account 'til everything was gone.
Now the circles around my eyes grow wider.
The lights are always on.
And every single night
I hold the covers tight
Until I toss and turn
And see the creeping light
I turn things off and on and on and off and on.
And I sleep for fifteen minutes like an infant 'til alarm clocks buzz
Through the cracks of the windows from the neighboring apartment until I wake up
So I'll slip next paycheck into bottles brown and amber 'til it's all gone
So I'll sleep next paycheck with the fitful fucking terror 'til it's all gone.
The Internet Is Everywhere.
I want you to know I'm glad you're not dead.
All the hate in my heart has gone out of my head.
It took me some time but I understand
That I made enemies where I should have made friends,
'Cause it's way too much work to hate your old friends.
I want you to know that I'll be alright
If you feel like I do and you're over the fight
Sure, there are times when I can't get by
But show me a person who always feels fine
And I'll show you a lying sack of shit.
But oh, I know
I wouldn't think about me too
But the smallest things make me remember you
And it's hard when I know we were such good friends
And it's hard when I know that we can never be friends.
There are times when I miss my friends
When I look through old pictures
Think about you again.
And I hope that you're happy that I'm not dead
And we both ended up kinda okay in the end.
Bonus Oceans
Yeah, I've got friends who wanna catch up on old times
But that just makes me feel ashamed to be me.
And I've got friends who wanna relive the past
And deify memories
And they just scream to me
That if you don't die young
You're gonna live too long.
On the stoop of the apartment next to my shitty job
An old friend passed me on the street today
I said "Hello" and tried to catch up on old times
She walked the other way.
Maybe I seemed to scream
That if I got cancer or somebody shot me
I'd be like a child or something,
Asking doctors to do me favors
or cross my fingers and hope it gets better
Like a broken record, I seem to scream,
If you don't die young, you're gonna live too long.
I was getting drunk in a foreign ocean
Trying to wrap my head around problems
And all my bitterness just seemed passe.
Because I realized as soon as I said it
How long it'd take to swim from Jones Beach to Indonesia
And maybe you're waiting on a call from me.
And maybe you're working in a crowded restaurant
And you're the one who's got a life so fucked up
that you don't know what happened.
Just like you saw me working at some restaurant
Embarrassed 'cause my life was just so fucked up.
And I don't know how it happened.
Amen
Waiting to go to school on some suburban road
They took my backpack and emptied it in the snow
The kids at the bus stop screamed nothing.
I saw an old lady one time on Astor Place
steal an old man's glasses and punch him in the face
Me and the others screamed nothing.
And what's the difference if the bombs fall from the sky
And what's the difference if you like being alive
Yeah what's the difference, 'cause we're all just gonna die.
A crucifix and two framed pictures of the pope
I passed them all as I got evicted from my home.
My Catholic landlord screamed "Amen."
We don't believe in God or spirits in the sky.
Unless we're desperate and need to justify
the shitty things we do so we apologize
"Ya gotta get rid of my guilt, God."
Before I fled the scene I smeared my shit along the baseboards
Took the moldy foodstuffs, lined them up along the tile floor
Jerked off on the window screen, fridge open and toilet running
Barely felt reprieve before the deluge of regret came flooding
Now I can't get to sleep because I have this useless conscience.
And I can't get revenge due to this stupid moral compass.
And honestly I feel that all these feelings aren't worth it in the end.
We don't believe in God or spirits in the sky
Unless we're desperate or know someone who died.
We gain perspective and we start to change our lives
Then still do shitty things when the moment arrives.
So what's the difference if the bombs fall from the sky
So what's the difference if you like being alive
Yeah what's the fucking point of thinking as you die
"Ya gotta forgive all my sins, God."
I Don't Wanna Die (Ging Nang Boyz Cover)
phonetics and rough translation by bob vielma, incorrect lyrics by jeff rosenstock
junjo karen na kimi o kimochi yoku shitai
junjo karen na kimi o gucha gucha ni shitai
junjo karen na kimi o hundari kettari
junjo karen na kimi no shotai wa maho tsukai
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
I know I'm gonna die.
junjo karen na kimi to annin dofu tabetai
junjo karen na kimi to Weezer kikitai
junjo karen na kimi to shuriken nagetai
junjo karen na kimi no kakei wa maho tsukai
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
ai wa donnan dai
koi no jumon tonae naide yo
boku wa mo kimi no koto shika mienaku naru yo
JESUS!
YES YES YES YES YES
dakishimetai
dakishimetai
dakishimetai
kowareru hodo
oppekepe
oppekepe
oshibe to meshibe wa oppekepe
koi no jumon tonae naide yo (koi no jumon tonae naide yo)
rabu rabu shiru haranaide kure yo
boku wa mo hone ni naru made kisu shimakuru yo
JESUS!
YES YES YES YES YES
dakishimetai
dakishimetai
dakishimetai
kowareru hodo
----------------------------
Rough translation:
I wanna make pure and sweet you feel good
I wanna get sloppy with pure and sweet you
I wanna mess up pure and sweet you
pure and sweet you are a sorceress
I don't wanna die x2
I know I'm gonna die
I wanna eat almond tofu with pure and sweet you
I wanna listen to Weezer with pure and sweet you
I wanna throw ninja stars with pure and sweet you
pure and sweet you hail from a lineage of sorcerers
I don't wanna die x2
What the hell is love?
don't cast a love spell on me
I already can't look at anything else but you
Yes x5
I want to hold you x3
until you break
It's no good!!
It's no good!!
I can't make it better!! Its no good!!
don't cast a love spell on me
Don't stick a love love sticker on me
I'm already going to smother you in kisses until I'm dead
Yes x5
I want to hold you x3
until you break
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